Biz Rantz

The Book Of Business Sense And Those Who Lack It

For over 25 years I have had the opportunity to work and travel all over the world in the Nightlife and Entertainment Industry. I have had the pleasure to work with and alongside some of the industry’s best experts, as well as some of the biggest celebrities and all around some of the greatest people you could ever hope to meet.

But also in the past 25 plus years, I have worked with and worked for some of the Most Ignorant, Conceited, Self Indulging, Idiots in the World Today.

Names Will Be Changed To Protect The Ignorant, But The Characters Will Not Be Mistaken.

All Names Will Be Withheld To Protect The Ignorant, But The Characters Will Not Be Mistaken.

I wrote Biz Rantz to not only expose some overwhelming idiots I had run into in the past decade, but to also give a true industry perspective on what it is like to be a professional and be hired by people that just either don’t get it, or just don’t care.

These Rantz are carefully crafted to help you decide if your business will succeed or fail. And how I can actually help you.

“Because I know there are so many fucking idiots in the business place today, I’ve carefully crafted some theatrical artwork to go along with each chapter. These are pictures for your fucking idiots that are too stupid to understand the words that are coming out of my mouth”. – Ryan Dahlstrom

Chapters 1-10

You Can’t Fix Stupid

I can fix your business but I can’t fix stupid. If your not willing to accept your mistakes and learn from them, you might as well close now.

You’re An Owner Not A God

Just because you own coca cola doesn’t mean you can walk into a Wal-Mart and pull shit off the shelf and yell at the stock boy.

Ignorance Has No Boundaries

Saying that a type of business practice doesn’t work in your market, is a lame excuse for your ignorance.

You Can’t Learn To Run A Business By Watching TV

Watching an idiot run around on TV yelling Shut It Down doesn’t make them an expert for you to run your business model off of.

Is the Truth Fucking You? Or Are You Fucking Yourself?

Number don’t lie, no matter how much you lie to yourself. If you can’t trust the numbers then you can’t trust yourself.

Mental “Idiotology” of a Rich Person

Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re right or even capable of running a business.

You’re Not The Richest Person I’ve Told To Go Fuck Themselves

When enough is enough and you just have to cut your losses.

Hire A Professional Not Someone You’re Fucking

Just because you’re sleeping with someone or they are your friends, doesn’t mean they are qualified to run your business for you.

The Lips On Your Ass Are Those Of The One Ripping You Off

Just because someone kisses your ass and tell you what you want to here doesn’t mean they are on your side.

You Did Your Job. You Want A Fucking Cookie?

When and if, you should or shouldn’t, praise your staff for doing the job that you pay them to do.